Mother of the Groom Dress Etiquette: What to Wear (and What to Avoid)

Being the mother of the groom comes with its own, slightly less-talked-about set of style questions. Should you match the mother of the bride? Who gets to choose first? Is there a color you should never wear? Here's a clear, practical guide to mother of the groom dress etiquette.

Who Chooses First: The Mother of the Bride or the Mother of the Groom?

Etiquette generally gives the mother of the bride the first pick. Once she's settled on a color and formality level, she typically shares that information with the mother of the groom so the two looks complement each other rather than clash. If you're the mother of the groom and haven't heard from the bride's family yet, it's completely appropriate to reach out and ask what she's planning to wear — most brides appreciate the coordination.

Best Colors for the Mother of the Groom

You have more freedom than you might think. Flattering, wedding-appropriate options include:

• Navy — elegant, universally flattering, and easy to coordinate with almost any bridal palette
• Burgundy or wine — a rich, sophisticated choice for fall and winter weddings
• Champagne or gold tones — glamorous for evening or black-tie affairs (just confirm it doesn't read too close to the bridal party's ivory or blush, if applicable)
• Blush or dusty rose — soft and romantic for daytime or garden weddings
• Emerald or sapphire — bold jewel tones that photograph beautifully

Colors and Styles to Avoid

• White, ivory, and champagne that reads too close to bridal white — reserve these for the bride, even if you love the shade.
• All black, unless the wedding is explicitly black-tie. In some families and cultures black is still considered inappropriate for a wedding; when unsure, ask.
• Anything that competes with or overshadows the bridal party's colors — you want to complement the day, not pull focus from it.

Matching the Wedding's Formality

Your dress should mirror the wedding's dress code:

• Black-tie: a floor-length gown, ideally with some embellishment, beading, or a formal jacket option
• Semi-formal: a tea-length or midi dress, or a dressy separates set
• Casual or outdoor: a lighter fabric in a shorter or tea length, with room to move comfortably outside

Do the Two Mothers Need to Match?

No — and in most cases, they shouldn't try to match exactly. The goal is coordination, not duplication. Complementary colors (for example, navy and burgundy, or blush and champagne) or a shared formality level read as intentional and put-together in photos without looking like a uniform.

Who Pays for the Mother of the Groom's Dress?

Traditionally, the mother of the groom purchases her own dress, just as the mother of the bride does, unless the couple offers to contribute. This is a good norm to keep in mind while budgeting and shopping timelines.

Find Your Dress at Nora's Bridal Boutique NY

Our stylists at Nora's Bridal Boutique NY in Tarrytown work with mothers of the groom every week, helping coordinate looks with the bride's family and find a gown that fits both the wedding's formality and your personal style. Shop our Mother of the Bride & Groom dresses or book an appointment with our Westchester County boutique. 914.364.1279